modmove: Entertainment & Popular Culture in Review

Everyday Demons
The Answers
I have a tale to tell you, my disloyal readers, about a recent trip a mate and I made to the good old USA. Maybe it was all that American junk food or the pressure on his brain caused by his massive afro or maybe even a shift in brain power from all that driving on the wrong side of the road but from the moment my mate took ownership of the keys to that giant blue ute we rented and hit the road, I was terrified.

This situation was far from being helped by the copy of Everyday Demons, he smuggled in his carryon. He had stated that nowadays only crap music comes from the US and with acts like Britney Aguilera, Pennyback, Taylor Slow and Chris Hellno racing up the charts, who could argue? Everyday Demons by the Irish group The Answer was a perfect counter to those weak yank tracks with its burly guitars and razor blade vocals. Its blast of AC/DC inspired rawk would certainly blow out the cob webs.

Everywhere we went that diabolical disc was up so loud that the really low bass notes would make the rear view mirrors go fuzzy in time with the music. At least that blue shit box had a raging stereo. This stereocide was bad enough but not near as bad as his complete disregard for all the traffic laws, including speed limits and giving way to slow moving pedestrians. Add to this, the shark’s pull to the outside lane brake bias and we had many a brown short moment.

We headed up the left coast of California from our arrival in San Diego, so I spent most of the time on the road thinking I was going to eat flaming death when he drove over the cliffs the Americans had so handily placed on their coastline and then plunge to our death in a large petrol fuelled explosion (seems I too have watched too many American movies). We eventually arrived at this place called Pismo Beach. Now, we in Australia have always had many beaches to drive on here with our motors but in yank town, I guess it’s not that common because this beach was filled with petrol heads racing around on the hard packed sand like another round of dead dinosaurs was about to be discovered.

My mate in his competitive glee drove the blue land shark dangerously close to the incoming waves and when he mistimed his approach caught a wave a metre deep and sent sheets of water into the back of the ute and absolutely soaked everything that we owned (being stupid enough to leave everything in the back in the first place). Having said that, when we stopped and opened the doors, water poured out so maybe the interiour wasn’t so safe after all.

So before my memory faded into a substance fuelled stupor, I remember us going to a local laundry mat and putting everything we owned in the dryers there and since it was getting a little cold out we also had all the empty ones open and cranking out the BTUs just for good measure. We had the blue land shark out on the sidewalk with the doors open and the Irish lads blasting. It did a remarkable job of keeping all the straights out so we had access to all the dryers.

So to end with just a few small suggestion, next time you go to the states, bring some good music because the radio over there really is as crap as their charts would suggest and since they will rent motors to anyone, even large afroed crazies with lead feet, never take your eyes off your fellow road fools. Oh, also keep a pocket full of local coin as well because the dyers there aren’t cheap.
Lapdance Larry