Inventions For The New Search
Maserati
In the Lapdance household, we have a long tradition of family gatherings that end up in substance fueled melees. As a group, we are all over-opinionated assholes that don’t tolerate much outside our own interests; you know, your typical nuclear family. The only thing that can come close to calming the savage beasts that are my siblings is music.
Not just any music though, if it’s too light, instant riot, if it’s too heavy, it gets turned up so loud it curdles the dairy. Now the home stereo knows no other volume than excessive and any music that makes it on is going to make the tubes glow red-hot, so selection is very important. At a recent gathering of the kin, I came prepared.
I figured that some post rock shit would do the trick and that we could actually carry on a word or two of conversation in the lulls between the bombast, so I came packing. I brought the new album from Maserati, an Athens, Georgia assemble of plank spankers and overdrive overlords. I popped on Inventions For The New Search and turned it up, way up and the most amazing thing happened.
My siblings actually shut up as this soothing music washed over them and then when the natives started to get restless, the songs turned around with such ferocity and volume, it not only drowned out their petty squabbles but it also brought my flat beer back to life. A win/win situation in my book.
Of course, the rest of the day degenerated into the usual disarray of overstated opinions and understated intellect but for those forty-six minutes the Lapdance clan were all as one and it was really weird.
Lapdance Larry
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