modmove: Entertainment & Popular Culture in Review

Scream Aim Fire
Bullet For My Valentine
Speaking of bullets for Valentines, did I ever tell you about my first crush and the Valentine Day date with her that went wrong, very wrong? We first locked eyes flipping through the racks of metal at the local record bar and struck up a conversation (or fight?) about the virtues of British metal over American iron. She was singing the praise of Bullet For My Valentine and I was putting all my chips on Slayer (a little one sided of an argument wouldn’t you say?). Needless to say, she was adamant and I of course wouldn’t budge, so we soon reached a stalemate of sorts. She called me an arsehole and ran off and I chased after her. She was after all, quite cute and female.

Finally a few blocks later I caught up with her and tried my best to get the foot in the door. V-day was on the horizon and I don’t really know how but I talked her into a date on that most coupling of days. Maybe it had something to do with the offer of a free meal or maybe it was my charm, no strike that last statement, it WAS the offer of a free meal, no more, no less.

I didn’t talk to her until the big day, giving her less chance to change her mind. But when I got to her house, she answered the door looking hot and proceeded to tell me her folks were not home and to come in for a moment. She pulled the curtains closed and we were soon on the couch getting jiggy with it. Just when it was getting good, we heard a car pull into the driveway. I couldn’t find all my clothes in time, (all black and hard to find in the dark) so when the occupants of that car came through the door it didn’t look good, especially when it turned out to be her parents.

In what little I could see in the filtering light from the now open front door, her dad looked a little pissed but turned away and went into the other room. He soon returned with an evil look on his face and a shotgun in his hand. He aimed it my way and I hit the bricks. As the sting of the rock salt struck me on my almost bare ass, I knew that our date was probably over. Bummer, although I did save on the restaurant bill but then how much would have McDonalds cost anyway?

And if you were wondering what this all has to do with the new album Scream Aim Fire, it was what I hoped to do but never did but if my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me before I had to run for my life, I do recall hearing bits and pieces of it during the throes of passion and it sounded pretty damn fine.
Lapdance Larry